I know some extraordinarily happy people and some who are perpetually grouchy and out of sorts. Both groups are comprised of folks who have had their hearts broken, experienced financial ups and downs, worried over the health of someone they love, and been treated unfairly. None have been immune to the discomfort of second-guessing some of their most important life decisions. All have experienced loss of one kind or another. None were raised by perfect parents. And all have been disappointed by somebody and have been the source of someone else’s disappointment.
Despite their shared difficult human experiences, the people in the first group live mostly joyfully while the others seem willfully mired in muck. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?
My take on the difference between Jilly Joyful and Debbie Downer is that JJ understands her happiness is in her own hands. She gets that for better or worse, she’s actively creating her reality. She knows to listen to and honor her Voice Within and trusts it will unwaveringly lead her in the right direction. She also understands that her Voice Within speaks most clearly through her emotions, so she not only trusts what she feels, but purposefully reaches for the very best feelings. Finally, she understands her vibration, whether high or low, will attract its matches, so she welcomes and celebrates all the good she draws, which then multiplies exponentially and lifts her even further upward.
DD, on the other hand, runs a continuous loop of her most difficult moments in her head and submerges herself in the pool of their pain. She’s mentally catalogued every slight, every misstep, and every hurt feeling from childhood to the present. Decades after the event, she holds onto the anger and humiliation she felt when her high school boyfriend dumped her at their prom. She’ll tell you about the coworkers just itching to stab her in the back. She sees danger and hatred everywhere and if you point out the good stuff, she’ll swear you’re delusional or are simply not paying attention. She believes herself to be unlucky, maybe even unlovable, and regularly cites what she sees as proof. She simultaneously clings to and resents these beliefs. As bad as they make her feel, to let them go would be, in her view, to misrepresent her life, to let her offenders off the hook, and to deny reality.
Observation of both JJ and DD shows us some pretty fabulous things: They are both getting lots and lots of exactly what they dwell on, of exactly what they reach for, what they expect. For both, the second verse is the same as the first. The stories they tell themselves about life and love and happiness become their realities, and the more those stories are repeated, the more deeply ingrained they become in the operating systems of their tellers. This continues unless they change it.
None of us live positively all the time. We gripe and worry, place blame and point fingers. Our human experiences can feel so real that we forget the truth of who we are and begin to act as though we are these vessels of flesh.
Kids love to dress in costumes and play make-believe games. They sometimes get so carried away in their creative play that they feel they are tigers or princesses or fire-breathing dragons. What we do when we get lost in our humanness is much the same. We lose sight of who we are—spirit or source or whatever word you’re comfortable with—and instead believe ourselves to be these bodies we’re wearing.
So how do we make the very best of our human experience? To enjoy our time on this creativity playground? We remember that we’re free to think whatever thoughts we want. We’re free to use our wonderful guidance system—our feelings—to lead us to the thoughts that feel good. Then we follow the trail of happy feelings, hopping from one to the next, and fill our days with love and fun and connectedness. And we remember that our playtime here is limited. Sooner or later dusk will come and it’ll be time to go home, so we’d be wise to make the most of every delicious minute.
So go on, now. Scoot. Go out and play.
~*~ Today’s image courtesy of pexels ~ Free and fabulous. ~*~