I’m sure there’s a nicer way to put it, but I don’t feel much like sprinkling pretty little glitter bits, so I’ll just deliver it as is: The past week, or maybe three and some change, have been more crap than candy.
Have you ever done all you can to look at only the sunny side of something until one day, it just doesn’t feel possible anymore? You open your eyes wider in the hope of letting in all the light you can, but the shadow moves faster than your eyelids and you find yourself standing in the dark, wondering if when you round the corner, the sun will emerge. That’s been my month.
I’m not a wallower. Honestly, wallowing is something for which I have little patience. Something I’ve never indulged. But a week of this turned into two and then forged on as the pages of the calendar flew from the wall. I was angry, then sad. When both faded into something resembling nothingness, I was startled. Angry was better. Even sad was better. The nothingness felt like there’d been a death, but with no body to mourn.
I gave myself the gift of silence and looked for an answer. When it came, I didn’t like it much. It seems I have a choice: truth or light. Right now, I don’t see them walking hand in hand, so I have to pick. I prefer light to shadow as I’m sure we all do, but at what cost? And if truth must be sacrificed for it, won’t the resulting light feel like a glaring fluorescent, flickering and fake?
I don’t have the answer. Until I do, I’m applying salve. I talk and laugh with my daughter every day, and I can exhale. I play with my grandchildren and come away washed in their natural light. Last weekend, I walked through the woods and gratefully accepted the love and understanding of the trees. Yesterday, I spent the day with two friends. Healing salve, all.
If you would be so kind, I’d like to ask for a favor. Please take a minute, close your eyes, and send me a bit of your love and wisdom. I’m feeling a little short on both right now.
~*~ Today’s image courtesy of pixabay ~ Free and fabulous. ~*~