Last time, I urged you to hone in on what it is you want most. I promised that once you did, you’d notice opportunities opening around you and if you took action, you could absolutely achieve anything.
That being said, I’d like to ask you to do one more thing (I know, I know. I’m always asking you for something.). Get quiet, bring to mind the thing(s) you’ve decided you want most in this world, and then examine how you’ll feel once you’ve gotten them. I know with certainty you can have, be, and do anything you want. What I’d like you to consider now that you’ve got a short list is what you believe having, being, and doing those things will do for you. Take a moment to visualize yourself living that life. Really get into it. Immerse yourself in the experience and notice what you’re feeling.
My guess is you feel loved, loving, excited yet relaxed, safe, successful, vibrant, connected, powerful, joyful, and at peace. Right? Perfect. Now consider something else. What you (and me and everyone) really wants isn’t necessarily the stuff we’ve written on those short lists. No disrespect to our desires, but I believe what we really, truly want is to feel the feelings I just mentioned. To live in those feelings. To be those feelings. The things on our lists simply represent what we believe we need to feel all that fabulous stuff.
Let’s step away from our lists for a minute. What if instead of saying we want a red Ferrari, we acknowledge what the desire for that particular vehicle represents to us. Financial success? Adventure? Sexiness? It’s never really the stuff we want, it’s the feeling we think the stuff will give us. Don’t believe me? Okay, grab your list again. Take a look at each item and experience on it one by one. Isn’t it true that while you think it would be spiffy to have that red Ferrari, the house with the big wraparound porch, a month in Hawaii, a gorgeous, attentive mate, and a job that pays you more money than you can figure out how to spend, what you’re really looking for is to feel the way you believe having those things would make you feel.
Attachment can suck the joy right out of our lives. I believe we need to let go of the idea that our happiness hinges on us having a particular house, car, or job. We can certainly have those things if we want them, but we need to acknowledge that in themselves, they don’t have the ability to make us happy. Better, I think, to follow our happy and let the details work themselves out. The same applies to people. Instead of doggedly insisting on having a relationship (romantic or otherwise) with a specific person, we’d be better served to focus on what type of people we want in our lives—happy, loving, honest, supportive, kind, generous–and then embrace those who embody those traits.
Choosing to live life using happiness as our compass takes a bit of courage. It requires a willingness to be brutally honest with ourselves and then to follow our own course, choosing the people, places, things, and activities that bring us joy and dismissing those that don’t. Living in such a way sometimes brings scorn from those who believe we have an obligation to want something other than what we actually want. But for me, the cost of living by someone else’s standards is more than I’m willing to pay.
There’s nothing wrong with red Ferraris (though I like old pick-up trucks better). If you want one, you can have one. Laser focus combined with a willingness to follow where your gut directs you will put you in the driver’s seat. But what if we skipped the middle-man (the stuff currently on our lists) and rewrote them to better reflect what we truly want: to feel loved, loving, excited yet relaxed, safe, successful, vibrant, connected, powerful, joyful, and at peace? What if we got out of our heads and followed our hearts? We still might end up with red Ferraris and houses with wraparound porches, but who knows? Maybe if we relinquished our incessant need for control and instead trusted that our hearts will steer us right, we might settle the ache in our bellies and live truly well.
Just a thought.
~*~ Today’s image courtesy of pixabay ~ Free and fabulous. ~*~